We are living in a world filled with multiple platforms/apps that are helping us stay connected. We have hundreds of friends and colleagues whom we are linked through these apps. So we have built huge (volume) networks. We are busy liking their personal posts, re-sharing what they are sharing, once in a while we do say hello. Is this benefiting us? Yes, we can search for anyone we ever met and we ever want to meet. We can see where they are what they are doing, like a research tool. But how will that help us? When did you last put your large network to test?
I recently got a chance to put my huge network to test. Guess what, I found out most of those links are just contacts. They are contacts whom I can send a message to. It's closer to throwing darts in the dark, basically old school cold calling The only people that I got some direction or feedback is with a small group of people whom I am really connected with. That made me question, am I doing it all wrong? Am I the only one doing it all wrong? How do I build a strong network? I started researching and came across the Dunbar's number.
What is Dunbar's number? “Dunbar's number is a suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships” [1]. Robert Dunbar found this in his research, there are many papers and books published by him. It's not that we don’t want to build strong relationships with all the thousands of people who are supposedly connected with us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and many more platforms / apps. Our brain has a limit. So we have to play this game of networking within these limits.
The magic number is 150. So we can really build strong relationships with only 150 people. Then why are we busy accepting everyone who is trying to add us, because we are social animals we want to be nice. If they have to really go out and do something for you, you will not hear back from the contacts you have on Facebook, LinkedIn, Insta, etc. I am not saying leave all the social platforms, just use them what they are good for; research.
I ran into this problem and I thought there should be a way to network better. Yes there is a way, you have to focus on the relationships that matter. Is there a channel to help us with this, good news is I am building one. I would love to invite you to use ConnectIn.
Start small and don't forget the boundary (150 people). Start with 25 people whom you want to build strong relationships with, choose them based on your journey. Set a frequency to connect, the app will send a reminder (right now its only an email). Make that connection happen. Take notes. Yes, this is your personal CRM and it is FREE. You can send your feedback through the app. Good luck in your journey.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar%27s_numbe
